panty free is the way to be.

by Alexis on June 19, 2010

tomorrow is father’s day, and to celebrate my wonderful husband, the best father in the entire world, i allowed him to watch our children for three hours while i went to the spa. i know, right? i am DEFINITELY going to win the wife of the year award. i guess i can add this to sleepfarting and fake pee on the list of reasons why i love my husband.

no, seriously though, my back is effed up. i woke up this morning and i could hardly move. sei was gone all week, so i spent most of that time lugging my kids, groceries, library books, and assorted other crap up three flights of stairs. so yeah, i had some major tension to work out.

i had the most heavenly massage at an aveda spa, a magical place that doesn’t smell like chihuahua and where there are absolutely no tiny little hands slapping my boobs. i wonder if that’s a service they offer? i might have to look into that. after my massage i went to take a hot, relaxing shower (all by myself), and got in with my underwear on. schweet.

so if you saw me running errands after my massage and steam shower today, i hope you took the time to notice that i had absolutely NO panty lines. none whatsoever.

after having been effectively single last week while sei was on a business trip, i will say this: i am not meant to be alone. the physical part of single motherhood, i could handle just fine. i still got my kids out of the house–it just took thirteen times longer than when he’s around to help–i still was able to get them bathed and into bed by a decent hour, and i was still able to do all the things a mother does, even though my partner wasn’t anywhere to be found.
but i was so, so lonely. the emotional stuff, i couldn’t handle alone. there was no one to cuddle me at night while i complained about how hard my life was. there was no one to pour me a glass of diet pepsi when my butt was glued to the couch at the end of the day, when that glass of diet pepsi was pretty much the only thing standing between me and utter insanity. there was no one to dance with me in the kitchen when the kids were FINALLY asleep and i felt like a woman instead of just a mom.

and THAT is why, i realized, i really need a man in my life. because the “mother” stuff? i’m pretty much good with that. but the “other” stuff? well, you’re gonna think i’m a cliched fool, but in the “other” stuff, sei completes me.

happy father’s day. and single mothers? you have my undying respect.

*don’t forget to enter the giveaway!*

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— Alexis

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Carrie June 20, 2010 at 12:55 am

Schweet indeed. :)

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Carrie June 20, 2010 at 12:55 am

Schweet indeed. :) Happy father’s day to all those schmucks. I’m going to give my husband the gift of me going to the spa too. hee hee

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Megan June 20, 2010 at 8:29 am

I <3 you. I open my bloglovin reader to see posts about crafts, fathers day, party stuff- AND yours. "Panty free is the way to be." I love it. :) and Happy Daddy's Day to Sei!

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Megan June 20, 2010 at 8:34 am

I commented and it didnt post! Arggg! anyway—- I was saying…

I <3 that I open my blog reader and see posts about party stuff, coupons, fathers day- and yours. Panty Free. Thanks for the entertainment!! :) and Happy Father's Day to Sei!

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Alexis June 20, 2010 at 5:37 pm

yes. i am decidedly klazzy.

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Kristina P. June 20, 2010 at 8:38 am

Replace “mother” with “wife”, and I agree. My husband is gone a lot for work, and while I am better used to it now, I am still a lame-o who needs my man!
Kristina P. recently posted..Dressing Down

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Alexis June 20, 2010 at 5:39 pm

i have been like that since the day we got married. the first time we were apart overnight, i cried like a baby. a friend (who shall remain nameless) was all, “codependent much?” and i was all, waaaaaah!

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Camilla June 20, 2010 at 11:04 am

Loved it, thanks.

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Susan (5 Minutes for Mom) June 20, 2010 at 11:07 am

How wonderful that you miss him so much when he is away. That is something.
Susan (5 Minutes for Mom) recently posted..Father’s Day Link Up 2010

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Untypically Jia June 20, 2010 at 12:34 pm

See, I’m kinda the opposite. While I miss him like crazy and can’t wait to be with him again, it’s when I go out of town that reminds me how much I’m needed. The last time I went out of town, I wasn’t gone a single day before he ripped a hole in his jeans, lost his wallet, broke my computer and sent the car payment check to the cable company.

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Alexis June 20, 2010 at 5:39 pm

your husband sounds like he could be from the same gene pool as me.

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lucy June 20, 2010 at 9:04 pm

GOOD FOR YOU for taking care of yourself and getting a massage. Especially after such a stressful week. Single mothers also have my undying respect. I don’t know what I would do without my husband…

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Camille June 20, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Wonderfully written. And you described how it is so perfectly. Thanks for the shout out to the single moms.

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Alexis June 22, 2010 at 2:37 am

well hello there camille! thanks for reading and saying i write wonderfully. your check is in the mail.

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Line June 20, 2010 at 11:33 pm

Youth conference occuppied every bit of my brain (and energy), so I totally forgot you were a single mom this past wk. Sorry. I’m glad you got to treat yourself to a spa-day. Totally deserved it after a wk of single parenthood! And I too don’t know how single moms do it.

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Alexis June 22, 2010 at 2:38 am

no worries. i know you have a busy busy life right now. i can barely remember my own name, let alone to call my friends. aren’t you so glad to have me?

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Jill June 21, 2010 at 11:01 am

Did you get your massage at Remedez? I know of a hot shower there. I used to be the one performing the rubdowns.

Yeah I’m alone a lot too. My husband works 18 hours a day. It gets pretty lonely and sometimes I just want someone to talk to where we don’t say “poopy” and “potty” a lot.

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Alexis June 22, 2010 at 2:39 am

umm yes at remedez. i’ve been going there since it first opened. so i probably saw you there and ignored you ’cause i’m cool like that. wait…you don’t talk about poopy and potty to your husband? how quaint.

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Texan Mama June 22, 2010 at 2:15 am

Aah, going commando. Me, I’d get a huge wedgie and be all picking it out in front of people without even realizing it. I guess I have become THAT woman, who grooms herself as though she’s alone in a dressing room at Macy’s and not in line at Starbucks.
Texan Mama recently posted..My Simple Solution

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Alexis June 22, 2010 at 2:40 am

oh honey, there was lots o’ pickin’. only i don’t go to starbucks, so it was in the line at a gas station. now THAT is what i call the ultimate in urban sophistication.

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Olivia June 28, 2010 at 1:28 am

I love what you said about feeling like a woman instead of just a mom. So true (says the woman who isn’t a mom).

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teuila August 13, 2010 at 10:50 pm

awww you slow dance in the kitchen after the kids have gone to bed too??? It’s the sweetest ending to a hectic stressed filled day…

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