dear dimestore therapists,

i’m not sure where to start. i’m a pretty private person, and i don’t like giving too much of myself away. maybe that’s why everything is so screwed up now, because i can’t make myself talk to anyone (besides alexis) about what’s happening to me.

maybe i’ll start with this: my father walked out when i was twelve. he went to work in the morning, then never came back. he didn’t call, didn’t write. just kind of vanished into thin air. my mom said she knew where he was, and asked me if i’d like to call him, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. i felt so betrayed, and i wondered why i had to be the adult and make the call when he was supposed to be the parent.

my mom got a job as a graphic designer for a local firm, and we stayed in the house that my parents had bought together when i was six. i’m not sure how she made ends meet, seeing that the house was huge and we lived in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in the area, but she did it somehow. i never felt deprived of anything, except maybe love from a stable male figure in my life.

after my dad left, i used to hear my mom crying in her bed in the middle of the night. she would turn on the tv, probably to muffle the sound of her sobs, but i’m no fool. i could see what he had done to her. she lost weight, stopped playing tennis, which she had always loved, and mostly just stayed in her office during the day, working at her computer.

then, about a year after he left, we got a wedding invitation from an unfamiliar address in brooklyn. my dad was getting remarried to some 25 year-old trust-fund baby, and he was inviting us. i was disgusted, and told my mom i hated him and never wanted to see him again. she hugged me and told me i needed to forgive him and move on, and would i consider at least calling to congratulate him? no, i absolutely would not, i told her.

she never dated, and when i tried to broach the subject, she would always say it was too soon. even when i was a junior in high school and it had been four years since my dad left, she’d still say she wasn’t ready. i couldn’t understand her reasoning, but didn’t want to push her. she seemed so frail.

as for me, i didn’t date either. i went to school, played sports, and hung out with aidan. he’s my best friend, the only guy i ever trusted after my dad left. we’ve been neighbors since we were both six years old, and i love him like a brother. well, at least i did, until the night of that party.

i should never have gone to that stupid party.

until next week,

olivia.

*this is alexis. so there’s the first installment. i’ve already given olivia more than my two cents, so i offer her life to you for some words of wisdom. how have you dealt with abandonment or trust issues in your life? have you been in a situation where you had to forgive such a heinous offense? how did you handle that?

and sorry for the abrupt ending. but i want you guys to care enough to come back next week for more of her story. don’t hate me.

thoughts?