i haven’t posted for five months. FIVE MONTHS. as far as a blog goes, five months might as well be five hundred years; for all i know, the people who read my blog might have all stopped using the internet or maybe been victims in a small-scale zombie apocalypse. hopefully that’s not the case, though, because i have a very fragile ego, and i’m not sure if i’d be able to go on blogging at all if all my readers were newly-made zombies and were therefore too busy eating people to read my shallow musings.
in any case, i come back to my blog in the spirit of meekness. i spent five months away from it, thinking i just didn’t have enough time to write about the things that make me go hmm or that piss me off or that make me laugh, and thinking that if i wasn’t spending time blogging, i’d be able to spend more time with my kids or learning how to sew or at least pretending to care that i don’t know how to sew. turns out, not blogging didn’t lead to my doing any of those things i thought blogging was keeping me from. i mostly spent a lot more time eating my feelings and taking my issues out on my husband.
i started grad school a month and a half ago. it has been even more insane than i thought it would be, but i’m not complaining; i feel exquisitely lucky every minute of every day. honestly, i’m still a little bit in shock that i’m finally following through on something i set out to do. i am learning so much, i’m inspired by my classmates, professors, and students, and i am consistently impressed by what an amazing man my husband is (as i type, he is bathing our boys, playing the guitar to them as they splash–the acoustics are good in the bathroom, i guess). but as giddy as i am to be in school again, i miss writing. which is kind of funny, because i write all the time for my classes, but i do (miss writing, that is). i miss the act of creating just for creation’s sake, of writing to express my feelings without consulting a syllabus first. i didn’t fully realize this until i stopped blogging, but i got a lot of satisfaction from my blog, and much of it came from the fact that i was writing for fun almost every day, which is a luxury i’m really pining for at the moment.
so i’m back, whether you like it or not. i may be writing about some new things, since my life is on a slightly different course now than it was five months ago, but i’m still the same old me (although now that i say that, i’m not sure whether or not that’s an endorsement or an indictment).
i’m so excited to be back!