{about me}

i am your average wife, mother, and sometimes depressive with a whole hell of a lot of opinions, some of which you may not like. but feel free to disagree anytime, i won’t hold it against you. here’s what you need to know:

• i am 26 (at the moment, at least).
• i have been married almost eight years (so far).
• i have two boys, and they are beautiful. i may or may not want to have more children, depending on the day (or the minute).
• i was born in north carolina, but only lived there for a few months. i’ve also lived in california, new york, connecticut, utah, england, and hawaii. i went to fifteen schools before i went to college.
• i am half puerto-rican, 1/4 samoan, and 1/4 white. this means my skin is brown but i also have freckles.
• my favorite ice cream is cookies n cream, but i prefer cupcakes.
• i will have the same best friends till i die, but i’m always open to making more.
• i have a lipgloss addiction. it sounds shallow, but…well, it’s kind of shallow.
• i am a freelance writer.
• i used to have a unibrow but over the years i have plucked it into submission. there are two of them now, and they are very well behaved.
• i am a dietsodaholic.
• i love to sleep but am an insomniac.
• i don’t like shoes because many shoe companies discriminate against my hideously large feet.
• it’s good that i don’t like shoes because i luuuuurrve purses. expensive ones that are large enough to smuggle a baby monkey into the country.
• my husband is the love of my life, and i’m not trying to make anyone vomit in their mouths, but i can’t imagine life without him. he is the sun, the moon, the stars, the sand, and the sea.

so that’s me in a nutshell. if you have any questions about the enigma that is alexis, fill out the form below. i’ll get back to you in a jiff.