on being fat.

it’s been a long time since i’ve written. when i was at my lowest with postpartum depression, blogging helped me through some of my worst times, and that’s why i’m starting up with depressionsandconfessions again. i miss the outlet, i miss the creativity, and most of all, i miss the people. i know it’s been […]

fighting the monster within.

i am not a violent person. or at least, i never thought i was. my family is about as pacifist as one can be–i didn’t even hold a gun until i was 29, and the most violent thing we ever did as a family was paintball and the occasional all-out warfare game of trivial pursuit. […]

to hear them shatter.

this is the most honest account i can give of my first (and i hope only) psychotic episode. i won’t give any analysis of what happened, just the details–i don’t want this post to be too long. i’ll talk about the implications of this episode later, maybe in my next post. if you’re at all […]

death in the family.

charlie, my little love

the first time i saw charlotte, she was looking at me through the glass window of a pet store. she was all alone in her cubby, and she looked…human. as though she was regarding me with some sort of emotion, like expectation or suspicious. it freaked me out a little, since i’m not the type […]


One night about two weeks ago, I woke at three in the morning convinced of something. So I stumbled out of my warm bed, walked down the hall in my underwear, and regarded the six piles of clean laundry on my laundry room floor with suspicion. I knew there was something I needed to do […]

using the “f” word.

well…this is embarrassing. i haven’t blogged in over six months. but i miss writing for fun (as opposed to the writing i do for school, which is less “fun” and more “chinese water torture”), and i’m getting too wordy for facebook–i’m at the point that i have to revise my status updates for length, which […]

18, 28: college is hard.

one day during the middle of last week, i was running out the door at 7:45–i had class at 8–and i was even more harried and wild-eyed than usual; i hadn’t finished the reading for my 8 am seminar, nor had i done the reading for my 12 pm seminar. i’d gotten down the stairs, […]

it’s been too long.

i haven’t posted for five months. FIVE MONTHS. as far as a blog goes, five months might as well be five hundred years; for all i know, the people who read my blog might have all stopped using the internet or maybe been victims in a small-scale zombie apocalypse. hopefully that’s not the case, though, […]